For years I have started off races by telling the runners a race is like a mullet-business in the front, party in the back. We all know who is having more fun!
I like to calm peoples nerves and I know the anxiety that can come with toeing the starting line of a race. I have been an elite front of the pack runner, a mid pack runner and even a chasing aid station cut offs runner. I love that I got to fully experience and embrace every part of the race pack. I started out by running one ultra a year as a stupid human feat with little to no training and had the time of my life! It felt like a party the whole time! All I cared about was finishing before they closed the aid station I was coming up on.
Fast forward a few years and I was soon toeing the line at the races with intentions to win, to set course records, to see what I could do. That was fun too, stressful but fun. It felt more like a job than a party and I enjoyed running in the front just as I enjoyed running in the back. I found the back of the pack to be goofy and playful. We laughed about the dumbest stuff and drank Fireball while stuffing our faces with cookies. I felt like I just partied by the time I finished!
Being in the front was less social and more focused. It felt like a job and I wanted to do my best each time. I didn’t take my time or focus on the party and instead was all business. I enjoyed that too…but I can’t lie…the back of the pack is where it is at.
Directing races opened my eyes up to so much. I love people and I love human behavior so I watched and learned. The front runners are incredible and it is really exciting to watch them duke it out and throw down insane times. Humans have always loved competition and watching people be the fastest or strongest. I also love watching the people who are out there working together to help each other dig deep enough to cross the finish line, the people who finish minutes before the cutoff with tears of pride in their eyes, the people who just accomplished something that will change their lives for the better. I see that every single person is competing but also that they are working together as a team.
I have been working with some athletes who are very new to the sport and listen to their concerns about training and racing. The theme is judgement. People are afraid to sign up for a race because they think they will be judged for not winning or being fast, judged for walking, judged for not being super thin, judged for eating a cookie instead of a gel. This absolutely breaks my heart! When I see someone running the first thing I see is a runner. Even if they are in running clothes walking I see a runner and I know I am not the only one who sees people that way.
When I see someone outside recreating they are an athlete to me. They can be any size or shape. It doesn’t matter. I have seen people who you would never think could run an ultra finish just behind the leaders and I have seen the most fit looking person come in dead last. It has nothing to do with how you look and you should not fear being judged because when people see you running or walking in a race you are a runner. When you tell people you ran a race, to them you are a runner. My point is an athlete is someone who incorporates movement into their life. An elite athlete is someone who trains to win a race and often times it is a career for them. If you move you are an athlete and do not ever think otherwise.
I find many of my athletes struggle with body dysmorphia or disordered eating when we start working together. I can’t say that there aren’t times I look at my mid section and wish I had a flat stomach or look at my thighs and wish there weren’t dimples…but…I appreciate my body for what it allows me to do. My body allows me to teach it how to move up and down mountains for hours, for days. My body allows me to bike, to explore, to lift weights, to go for a walk, to simply move. I treat my body with respect and love. I give it the food it needs to perform and I also give my soul the sweet treats it craves to remind me to be gentle with myself. Remember underneath what you see in the mirror is muscle, beautiful muscle. I saw my abs for 3 days once when I starved myself for a body building competition. That competition was the best thing that happened to myself because it taught me how much I enjoy feeling healthy and strong and not depleted and weak. I said goodbye to my abs as I went back to normal eating and every day know that because I include movement in my life that beautiful muscle is still there, still perfect and allowing me to move.
Whether your thighs are full of dimples, your stomach shakes when you run, your butt barely squeezes into your shorts or your feet look like something from a dinosaur museum remember what all of those things do for you. That big butt helps you go up mountains, your dimpled thighs help you sustain long downhill runs, behind your jiggling stomach is a strong core which keeps you upright on the trail and those dinosaur feet…they help you move!
Stop comparing yourself to others you see at the races and remember we are all different and we have different goals. Don’t judge people faster or thinner than you and don’t judge people slower or heavier than you. Just see people as fellow athletes with different stories but a common goal…getting across that finish line!
If you are struggling with feeling like you don’t belong or can’t stop feeling self conscious I would love to help you! Reach out to schedule a free consultation to see if coaching is right for you! I will help you fall in love with yourself and be the athlete you were meant to be (front or back of the pack and everything in between)