Uncovering Your Driving Force: The Deeper "Why"
Humans are strange. We feel the need to fit in, not to be judged, to do everything perfectly, to be busy, to just keep going. Our minds are our greatest strength and our weakest link. We tend to choose suffering over peace and treat exhaustion and being too busy as badges of honor. I have seen the human mind help achieve the most amazing things, and I have also seen it absolutely destroy the human it gives life to. The most interesting part is that I have personally experienced—and seen so many friends and athletes experience—the mind being their best and worst asset.
It is rare that anyone takes time to think about their “why.” This does not just pertain to sports; it pertains to every single aspect of your life. Most of us cruise through life doing what others tell us we are good at or what we think will get us the most “likes” and “kudos.” Along the way, we become nothing more than characters in everyone else’s personal dreams. So, how do you create your own dream—the dream that allows you to be your authentic self, the dream that allows you to be happy, the dream that protects you from the pain we allow others to inflict on us?
Until 2020, I was everything that the people around me thought I should be. My entire life was not what I wanted; it was what others thought I should do, what I believed I had to be in order to be liked and loved. I never took the time to figure out what made me happy or what I wanted my life to be.
One of the good parts of not being my authentic self was trying many different sports, jobs, looks, and lifestyles. The not-so-good parts were allowing others to hurt me, never truly knowing who I was, feeling lost, and constantly worrying about what others thought of me.
Have you taken the time to explore who you really are? I include many mindfulness exercises in my coaching because I believe that every person I work with deserves to follow a path that is truly theirs. They should do what makes them happy. I encourage them to look deeply into their “why” and to be their authentic selves. The first step is acknowledging the amazing person you are. Self-love brings confidence, removes the fear of judgment, and is the key to happiness.
Exercise happens for many reasons. Sometimes it can start with a scary doctor's visit. It could be to try something new, to lose weight, to find purpose, or to socialize. There are many different ways to achieve fitness. Exploring them all is an important part of your personal journey.
If you love the outdoors, choose a sport that gets you outside! If you prefer to work out indoors, check out a local gym or some classes. Some of us are social creatures who need group fitness, while others prefer the solitude of exercising alone. Be honest with yourself about what makes you feel the best!
If you love competition, races or other events can bring you joy. Some people thrive on the challenge of showing up on the big stage and comparing themselves to others. However, for some, this can cause significant turmoil. Racing often triggers feelings of judgment and comparison, so it’s important to find the right type of race that brings you joy and confidence. Large races with thousands of participants offer more variety and distractions from feeling judged, while smaller events can sometimes make you feel isolated or like you don’t belong. If you want to race, take time to explore what it truly means to you and which setting supports your mental health best.
If competition isn’t your thing, consider untimed events, group outings, or simply having a friend crew you on a fun route that you designed! This can be a great way to try a new distance or route without feeling like the world is watching. For some people, this is an excellent way to accomplish your goals without the pressure of a clock, audience, or results. If you struggle with races, explore ways to participate in untimed “events.” It doesn’t have to be something that shows up on a race result page to count! I have found some very rewarding days doing something completely for myself.
Being healthy can mean many things. It can be getting in 10,000 steps a day (about 5 miles!), attending group fitness classes, dancing, lifting weights, running, biking, swimming, indoor cardio, and more. Movement is being healthy. Anyone can start to move at any age, and everyone is allowed to change their minds about what brings them joy!
I have had many phases in my life, including cycling, running, mountaineering, rock and ice climbing, white-water kayaking, competitive swimming, strength training, snowboarding, skiing, dirt biking, and more. I have experienced both competitive and non-competitive phases. It was not until 2020 that I truly began to understand the importance of being honest with my “why” for each sport, and that realization has changed my life.
I realized I struggle with racing; it brings me anxiety and makes me feel judged. I don’t race much anymore, and when I do, it’s something for fun and not a big-deal race. I am more excited about bike races than running right now, but I am also excited to go for long runs in the mountains just for fun. I realized I don’t like skiing and am returning to snowboarding. I am also giving myself permission to change my mind again if I want to. I have always held onto things and expectations of what and who I should be. This year was the first year I truly let go and accepted that I am not my past; I do not have to be anything at all other than who I want to be right now, in this moment. It took five years to do this, and it feels good!
Once you start to explore your “why,” continue to check in regularly to see if it has changed. We are constantly evolving. You are not the same person you were yesterday, and you will not be the same person you are today. Our experiences change us, but our past does not define us. Always choose happiness. You only get to do this life once. Take care of your physical and emotional body. What are you waiting for? Go be happy (and healthy!)! <3
Here is a mindfulness exercise to try:
Reflect on the following areas and identify the core value or deep-seated need that drives your pursuit in each one:
Health & Fitness: Why do you dedicate time and energy to movement and nutrition? Is your "why" about longevity, independence, being a role model, or simply the feeling of personal strength? Is your “why” because a healthcare provider or friend suggested it?
Endurance Sports: Why choose a sport that demands so much time, pain, and persistence? Is your "why" the pursuit of mastery, testing your limits, the joy of flow, or the structure and challenge it brings to your life? Is it for yourself or for approval from others?
Career: Beyond the paycheck, what deep satisfaction or purpose does your work fulfill? Is your "why" about impact, creativity, security for your family, or continually learning and growing? Do you enjoy what you are doing? If not what would you change?
Relationships: Why do you invest energy into your most important connections (partners, family, friends)? Is your "why" about mutual support, creating lasting memories, belonging, or providing unconditional love? What is the relationship you have with yourself? Do you have unconditional love for who you are?
How can you intentionally choose actions today that directly align with a single driving word from all four points?
