You Can’t Get Back Up If You Don’t Fall First

Adversity happens to all of us at some point in our lives. Everything is going as planned, you feel good and almost invincible, then life hits hard with unexpected challenges. I’ve faced this myself many times, and most of my athletes experience these moments too—when injury or setbacks leave them sidelined at the most inconvenient time. Is there ever really a good time to be sidelined? Probably not. But how we respond to these challenges defines our journey forward.

Last week, I was feeling great—training was progressing well, and I was finally recovering from my bike injury. However, during a dinner party at the neighbor’s house, I suddenly felt nauseous. That nausea kept me awake all night, and I suspected I might have eaten something that didn’t agree with me. Unfortunately, it only worsened overnight.

The next day, I visited my primary care doctor, who prescribed medication for acid reflux and scheduled an ultrasound for the following week. I hoped I’d be able to manage my day, so I rescheduled my meetings to the afternoon. Instead, the discomfort escalated into severe pain.

I’m incredibly grateful that my athletes understood when I had to cancel my meetings. Rem insisted on taking me to the ER immediately—whether I wanted to go or not—and I’m thankful for that support..

Emergency room visits often involve long waits, and after a couple of hours, the doctors finally began running tests. My white blood cell count had increased significantly since my last blood draw—something I undergo every three months due to hereditary hemochromatosis. Though the increase wasn’t alarming, it was noticeably higher than it had been two months earlier. The doctor prescribed the standard “cocktail” for acid reflux, but it did nothing to alleviate my pain. That’s when I realized something else was going on.

They were very busy that night, and I stayed in the room for a long time as the pain intensified. Rem, against my will but thankfully persistent, got a nurse to administer IV pain medication. The doctor immediately ordered a CT scan.

The results would take about 30 minutes, so Rem went home to take the dogs out and feed them. I received an alert from my app with the CT scan results, and it appeared I would need surgery. I sent Rem a text to let him know the situation wasn’t looking good.

Just as Rem returned to the room, the doctor walked in and informed me that I needed emergency surgery. He explained all the risks and possible complications during the procedure. I authorized Rem to make decisions on my behalf if anything were to happen. After the doctor left, a nurse came in to prepare me for surgery. I felt overwhelmed, with no time to process everything, and I was terrified.

My first thoughts were to cancel my meetings for the next day and to inform my athletes that I was going into surgery, uncertain of when I would be able to connect with them again. I sent texts to friends and called my mom in the middle of the night to let her know. Then Rem took my phone, told me to stop, embraced me, and assured me that he would take care of everything.

Within about 20 minutes from being diagnosed I was brought up to the room where the anesthesiologist was waiting for me. I had let my neighbors know I was going in for surgery, and it turned out one of the neighbors I hadn’t met yet was my anesthesiologist! Our neighbors reached out to let her know we would be there. She spoke with Rem and I, and it was really comforting to have her there. My last memory was Rem letting go of my hand and my entire operating team standing at the end of my bed, smiling at me. It was oddly comforting, and my last thought was that if I didn’t wake up, it was the nicest send-off I could possibly have.

I woke up and the surgery went well. Rem told me the doctor called him and said the appendix was in rough shape but it was out and that everything would be okay. My appendix was on the verge of rupturing, and luckily it did not. I was able to have laparoscopic surgery, which resulted in three smaller incisions instead of one large incision across my belly. I felt much better after the surgery, which was surprising, though there was a lot of post-surgical pain, which is normal. The nurses were amazing, helping me get up, walk, and use the bathroom at regular intervals. My blood pressure kept dropping to 70/42 and my heart rate would fall under 40, causing the monitoring machine to send alerts. Staff would come running into my room and found that any time I started to doze off, my vitals would plummet. Since my vital signs are low to begin with, they were not as concerned after learning that.

I spent the entire day receiving three rounds of antibiotic infusions, fueling myself with red jello and pudding cups—feeling like a kid at school lunch! The care I received was exceptional, and after about 27 hours, I was able to go home. I was advised not to drive, lift anything, or use stairs for two weeks. To prevent blood clots, I was instructed to walk every couple of hours, which meant pacing around the kitchen island.

Rem has been an incredible caregiver throughout this time—handling everything around the house, caring for the dogs, looking after me, and managing full-time work without a single complaint. This support has allowed me to take naps and truly focus on healing.

I always knew the core was important for everyday activities but had no idea how difficult it would be after having my abdominal muscles cut. The doctor warned me about the risk of stitches coming undone and developing a hernia, so I am committed to following all instructions carefully and being patient with my recovery. I also wonder how women manage having a C-Section while caring for a baby.

The first five days after surgery were incredibly painful, making me indifferent to missing my usual exercise routine. I focused on working whenever I was awake and took naps between meetings to rest. Bennett has thoroughly enjoyed having me on the couch all day, sharing plenty of cuddles. Our neighbors and friends have been tremendously supportive—they’ve visited and helped in many ways. One kindly lent me a collection of beautiful Sari Silk Wrap Skirts since I can’t wear anything tight around my waist yet, and all my pants are too snug. Others brought food or sent well-wishes, which has meant a lot. Now, a week post-surgery, I have been cleared to walk on hard surfaces, avoiding any tripping hazards. It feels wonderful to get outside and walk as much as my pain allows!

In the past, being sidelined would upset me, leading to feelings of sadness and anger. Despite injury, I have never been unable to care for myself and would often try to sneak out to exercise. This time, I was surprised and proud that I didn't lose my composure during this setback which took away my independence. Instead, I’m focusing on small, achievable goals along the way.

Each day, I’m working on increasing my independence bit by bit. Next week, I hope to get clearance from my surgeon to walk on dirt trails and start driving again. In 2-3 weeks, I expect to be cleared to lift objects, then to bike, run, and ultimately return to a normal routine. These little goals give me something positive to anticipate—even the ability to do house chores again.

Having Rem’s kindness and support, especially in managing the house chores without complaint, removes a lot of stress from this process. I’m keeping my eyes on the bigger picture of healing without setbacks, which means more to me than rushing the recovery. This approach allows for a more sustainable and fulfilling return to full health and activity.

I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on what happened and what might have been. It was a profound wake-up call about the fragility of life—that at any moment, one of us could be gone. Both of us had been heavily immersed in building apps, managing our regular jobs, and settling into a new home. We hadn’t taken any real time off and were working from 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. on weekdays, plus several hours on weekends.

Before the move, we maintained regular working hours, and I kept my weekend work limited to mornings and afternoons, which felt like a healthy balance. We’d often talked about needing a proper vacation but never made it happen. Then the Universe intervened and forced us to reevaluate what needed to change.

I believe this is a significant reason why I’m so at peace with being laid up—I needed that push to create the balance I always encourage my athletes to seek in their own lives.

I love my job and I love helping others. I also love myself and need to remember that my emotional and physical needs matter too, so I can be my best for the people I support. I see many of my athletes encountering unexpected stop signs that derail their training and goals. Yet, I also notice many signs encouraging them to remember that their sport should be enjoyable and that balancing life, work, family, friends, and self-care is essential.

I believe that this setback will give me the opportunity to have these important conversations with my athletes before the Universe steps in. It also reminds me that taking time for myself doesn’t make me uncaring or less capable at what I do. I must lead by example.

This winter, we’ll be taking a vacation—or perhaps a staycation to enjoy local activities—and I plan to establish better working hours to prioritize my emotional well-being. For now, I am focusing on the small victories over the coming weeks that will help me return to spending time outdoors with Rem, the pups, and friends.

Reflecting on the past two weeks, I see them as a gift rather than a tragedy. The kindness and compassion shown by the people in my life have reminded me of the abundant love surrounding me. I am committed to continuing to share that kindness, love and compassion with others.

If life feels overwhelming, pause to reflect and set small, achievable goals that guide you toward your desired path. Progress happens one step at a time, one breath at a time, one moment at a time. Keep moving forward—you’ve got this. <3